Wow, I hadn't dressed like that since... , well never.They apparently were verifying and validifying and all that, so after I got all spiffied up, they led me into a room with a whole lot of bright lights and people in it. I was asked to stand in a certain spot. Pretty soon some guy started talking and then he mentioned my name, 'Bill Lewellen, ' and handed me this huge cardboard check for seventy one million one hundred sixty three thousand nine hundred and twelve dollars.The final amount had. .." I started."Don't get started, Alan. I told you I didn't want you draggin' Miss Tina to Tennessee and turning her into a sex toy." It's ... I..." Words weren't coming."Tina just called me cryin' her eyes out, Alan. In her words, she thinks she's losin' her best friend in the whole world, and her husband. And she explained to me some things." Bill, I didn't start out to do this..." And I believe her. And I guess that means I have to believe you, too. So she called me because I helped ya'll. "What'll I do now, big Sis ?" she called excitedly. "Place your foot on the grill and slide it forward. A flap will opento let your foot through so it can get to work!" "What if it, like, won't co-operate, big Sis?" "Just press that red button on top there; you'll soon find it co-operating!" I heard a giggle, then the sound of her sneaker being set on the grill beyondthe wooden front. It scraped forward as she slid her foot a long, then a woodenflap opened abruptly, and her tattered old sneaker. And she is very candid. So, it was no surprise to me when one night she came home from clubbing early and wanted to talk.She poured herself a glass of tea, looked up at me and said, "This clubbing thing is getting old Reggie. Every guy I meet is either an asshole, married or looks like he is about three doses away from finishing his treatment for the clap. If I don't get laid pretty soon I am going to bust!" Why don't you get a Real Doll?" I said jokingly after a second. OK, so call me naive.
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